Is Ed Mazza too beautiful to write for the Huffington Post?
July 27th was a slow day in the news room for Mr. Mazza. At 11:23 pm EDT he posted an online article titled “Sabina Altynbekova Is Too Beautiful To Play Volleyball, Critics Say”. Readers waited on pins and needles for additional details and at 2:59 pm EDT Mazza updated the original article.
For a moment, July 27th felt like nirvana. Worries about Vladimir Putin invading Ukraine disappeared, it was irrelevant whether Israel was going to blow the Gaza Strip to Kingdom Come, and it just didn’t matter how bad the CU Buffs were going to embarrass the state of Colorado this upcoming football season.
At 11:23 on July 27th, the world was a happy place. People everywhere were focused on whether Sabina Altynbekova was really too beautiful to play volleyball on Kazakhstan’s national team. When Mazza’s update rolled in at 2:59 the world stopped long enough for enemies to set aside their guns, nerve gas, and bombs and take a few minutes to Google Sabina Altynbekova.
The results of their Google searches were provided in an online poll:
- 48.3% of the respondents would have to stand on a stepstool to see eye-to-eye with Ms. Altynbekova.
- 34.7% thought Kazakhstan was a suburb of Detroit.
- 41.7% thought a float serve was what happened when the waiter delivered a root beer float at a Sonic Drive-In.
- 97.3% thought Ms. Altynbekova was beautiful and 2.7% indicated they were scheduled to visit their ophthalmologists to get new glasses the following day.
- 69.0% indicated they had never played volleyball before, but planned to enroll in a beginner’s class the following day.
Thank you Ed Mazza for writing an article that had absolutely no value what so ever. It was a pleasant change of pace, even if it made a few people grimace. You made a lot of people smile and making people smile is a good thing! It is kind of like being too beautiful to play volleyball or write for the Huffington Post?